I've reached a point in my life where reflection and self-acceptance are paramount.

Hi, I’m Sian, a 39-year-old mother of two amazing humans, and the founder of Pockets of Bliss, a gift box service designed to spark meaningful conversations and raise awareness on important topics with honesty and without shame.

As a mother, I’m deeply concerned about the beauty standards my children’s generation feels pressured to meet. This pressure is intense for both girls and boys.

Let me share my story...

At 21, I had my son. My body changed dramatically, and it was challenging, especially at such a young age. My tummy developed stretch marks, my breasts drooped, and my hips widened. I breastfed my son for a year, a decision I wouldn’t change for the world. Breastfeeding was always part of my plan, and I embraced it fully, despite the inevitable changes to my body.

At 23, feeling a lack of confidence, I decided to get a breast enlargement. I opted for a natural look, just enough to boost my self-esteem. Initially, it worked. I felt better about myself. However, after a few years, I started experiencing pain, infections, and eventually developed Breast Implant Illness (BII). I grew to hate the implants and the symptoms they caused. The decision to remove them came at a high cost, both financially and emotionally, but after 10 years, I finally had them taken out.

Reflecting on my journey, I realise now that I wish I had never gotten the implants in the first place. The operations and the pain weren’t worth it. I was a young mother with a changing body, and I thought I was making the right decision to regain my confidence. But having foreign objects in my body wasn’t the answer. It’s a lesson I’ve learned and one I’m always open to discussing.

I understand why I made that choice back then, but today, young girls, often without having experienced pregnancy, are turning to surgeries, Botox, lip fillers, and other procedures. It’s becoming an epidemic. These young people are already beautiful, and it’s heartbreaking to see them feel otherwise.

Let’s teach the next generation that they are beautiful just the way they are. Authenticity and self-acceptance should be the standards we strive to uphold. It’s time to embrace true beauty and help our children do the same.

In today's world, beauty standards are more pervasive than ever, bombarding us through social media, advertising, and entertainment. These standards often present an unrealistic and narrow definition of beauty that can be detrimental, especially to the younger generation. As adults and role models, it is our responsibility to shift the narrative and teach our youth that true beauty lies in diversity and authenticity. Here’s how we can endeavour to show the young generation that they are beautiful just the way they are.

The Current Landscape of Beauty Standards

Beauty standards have evolved throughout history, but the modern era has seen a hyper-focus on physical appearance, often driven by digital media. The proliferation of photo-editing apps and filters has created an illusion of perfection that is unattainable in reality. This obsession with looking a certain way has led to a rise in body dysmorphia, anxiety, and low self-esteem among young people.

The Harmful Impact on Youth

The impact of these unrealistic standards on young minds is profound. Teenagers and even younger children are increasingly exposed to images and messages that suggest they need to look a certain way to be accepted and valued. This pressure can lead to:

• Low Self-Esteem: Constant comparison to idealised images can make young people feel inadequate and unhappy with their natural appearance.
• Mental Health Issues: The stress of trying to conform to unrealistic beauty standards can result in anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.
• Loss of Individuality: The push towards uniformity in looks stifles self-expression and individuality, making young people feel pressured to fit in rather than stand out.

But, we can help the younger generation navigate their way around these often unattainable, unrealistic and negative beauty standards by being role models - 

• We must lead by example. By demonstrating our own self-acceptance and confidence in our own appearance. Avoid making negative comments about our own looks or commenting negatively about the way others look. Its important that we show that beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin and treating yourself and others with kindness.
• Emphasise the importance of health over appearance. Encourage young people to engage in activities that make them feel good, such as sports, hobbies, and creative pursuits and to eat well; nourishing the body is essential for maintaining overall health and well-being. Proper nutrition provides the body with the necessary nutrients, vitamins, and minerals to function effectively and efficiently. Teach them that a healthy body and mind are more important than conforming to superficial standards.
• Teach them to practice self-compassion and positive self-talk and encourage young people to focus on their strengths and qualities beyond physical appearance. 
• Support media, brands, and influencers that celebrate diverse body types, skin tones, and features. Representation matters. By showcasing a wide range of beauty, we can help normalise all forms of appearance and reduce the pressure to conform to a single standard.

Now let me say, I am completely one of those people that don't judge and people are entitled to do what they feel, this blog is about protecting the younger generation and showing them their beauty.

Recently there was a subject of face threading on Instagram, which looked extremely uncomfortable and painful, the lady who received the treatment was having this procedure, in her 50s to help with sagging around her jaw and there were many negative comments aimed at her for having it done when they had followed her for being about natural beauty, fashion etc. I commented that it was her personal choice and I personally couldn't endure that pain and one lady on the thread decided to tell me that when Im in my 50s Ill be getting Botox done, I told her I wouldn't and she continued to tell me several times that I will; its tiring having to constantly say that she doesn't know me and my future decisions, but I could guarantee that I have already decided to age gracefully, what ever that may look like.

Yes, I have my roots done, I love skincare and face masks, but I wont ever touch my face invasively as personally that isn't for me; anyway it was sad to see how certain and sure she was, she told me that I definitely will once I hit my 50s and I felt sad that this world has become like this. My mum is my absolute inspiration. Her skin is gorgeous and she barely has any wrinkles, and all because she looked after her skin from a young age, never smoked and never drinks much alcohol. She has never had any cosmetic procedure and is testimate to not having to go down that road.

But this lady was airing loud and clear to me and thousands of others including young people, that it was inevitable that no matter what, botox was on the cards! What kind of message is that, no wonder young people are having these procedures so early, and thinking they are preventing aging, when in reality by having botox early they could be doing the opposite!

"By implementing such procedures at too young an age can have a detrimental effect, as it may interfere with natural facial development and affect your appearance, explains Michael Saul, partner at Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors. He goes on to say - "It is advisable to avoid starting these kinds of procedures before your face has fully developed. This helps to create a balance between preventative measures and maintaining a natural look, as individuals are more mature and capable of making informed decisions about the long-term implications of cosmetic procedures."

Maddie Malone, Beauty and Personal Care Analyst at Mintel, adds: "Societal pressures, combined with the influence of social media, celebrities and shows like Love Island, are all contributing to the popularity of cosmetic procedures among the young.

"Younger Millennials are a generation that have largely grown up during an era of social media, which is said to foster insecurities. In fact, three quarters (73%) of all Brits say social media has a severe negative impact on mental wellbeing.

"The indications are that surgical procedures could become increasingly common with time. While Gen Zs (aged 13-26) might not currently have the financial means to pay for cosmetic procedures, their generation more than others have grown up during an arguably more social media focused era – which places a high focus on physical appearance.

"As a result, they may be more influenced to undergo these types of procedures."

So can botox slow the ageing process?

Getting Botox to slow the ageing process can help make you appear younger, but can also have the opposite effect if you are getting it in your 20s.

Saul explains that this could be because "excessive application of tweakments can lead to an unnatural, frozen appearance that lacks the natural expressiveness of youth."

Cosmetic "tweakments" like Botox and fillers have been popular for many years. However, there's a growing trend of younger individuals opting for these procedures, driven by concepts like "preventative" or "baby Botox."

The term "preventative" can be misleading, suggesting that Botox can stop ageing. However, this isn't the right approach or solution. A much healthier way to look and feel younger is by prioritising mental health, eating well, exercising, and taking good care of your skin.

My personal conclusion age 39 as opposed to 23 year old me, I love my body, a vessel that has carried two humans, given birth to my son and daughter, my stretch marks are my life map and that of my babies, my breast are smaller and Im happier and in hindsight I would of never of had surgery, I don't smoke, I currently nearly a year into no alcohol, I lead a vegan diet and I walk and exercise. I still colour my greys, when I get the time, hahaha, I have a morning and evening skin routine and I love a little pampering like most people, but I will use my own wisdom and journey of positivity and mistakes to teach and inform my son and daughter. I will continue as I do everyday to show them love and self-love and embrace themselves just the way they are and to embrace me and my lumps and bumps too.

The beauty industry’s influence is strong, but our commitment to promoting a healthier, more inclusive definition of beauty can be stronger. By teaching the young generation that they are beautiful in the skin they are in, we empower them to embrace their uniqueness and build self-confidence. Let’s strive to create a world where everyone can feel beautiful, just as they are.