A Little Reflection on Time and Business

Yesterday, I went to Waterstones, and the first book that caught my eye was one already on my reading list. I felt compelled to buy it, Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman: Time Management for Mortals. So this morning, I dove in, and I’m hooked.

As a small business owner running everything on my own, I’ll be the first to admit, it’s hard. Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother. Since January 1st, I’ve had just five orders. Yep, you heard that right. I could laugh or cry about it, and truthfully, I’ve done both in equal measure.

But yesterday, sitting in the Waterstones café opposite my husband, having just purchased this book, tears rolled down my cheeks. Maybe it was the reality of life hitting me. Maybe it was the harsh truth of how much my business is struggling. Or maybe it was a bit of mental burnout creeping in. Regardless, I needed this book in my life.

It dawned on me, I’ve been doing so much wrong. I push myself in a hundred different directions, constantly telling myself there isn’t enough time, that I’m not good enough. Yet, at the same time, I’ve unknowingly been practicing some of the principles of good time management. When I’m exhausted, I step away from my laptop. When I’m overwhelmed, I remind myself it’s okay, it can wait. And yet, why do we feel so guilty about this?

Western culture has basically turned life into a to-do list: Work, work, work… then poof, you’re dead. Not exactly the inspiring ending we were hoping for!

Of course, burnout isn’t something you can fix with just self-help. Burkeman shares an excerpt from journalist Anne Helen Petersen, who wrote about millennial burnout:

"You can’t fix such problems with a vacation, or an adult colouring book, or ‘anxiety baking,’ or the Pomodoro technique, or overnight fucking oats."

Wow. That hit me.

Burkeman goes on to say that no matter your situation, facing reality is the only way forward. As long as you keep trying to meet impossible demands, convincing yourself that, one day, you’ll magically figure out how to do the impossible, you’re unknowingly collaborating with those demands. But when you finally accept that some things are impossible, you become empowered to resist them. To focus instead on building a meaningful life within your reality.

So, I’ve decided to stop being so harsh on myself.

I love pockets of bliss, but I also don’t want to be constantly stressed. I will work on growing my business, getting it out into the world (or at least the UK!), but I refuse to let it consume me. I am not Superwoman, I’m human. And I need to remember that life is for living, not for constantly pushing myself beyond my own limits.

Because, honestly? All this relentless pushing has led to nothing but stress, exhaustion, and another year of feeling helpless. My business isn’t thriving. I barely get engagement or orders. And yet, I’ve been working myself to the point of tears for… what, exactly?

So, here’s to a new approach. One that doesn’t rely on cramming too much into each day. If I’m lucky, I’ll get four thousand weeks—and I’m already halfway through.